Thanksgiving 2015

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

As I do almost every year at Thanksgiving, I sat down to ponder all of the things for which I am thankful. It started to feel extremely familiar, and I realized that this year's list is nearly identical to last year's.

We have a bulletin board at work where colleagues were asked to post a note about something they are thankful for.  I wrote:  "A job that I like (most of the time) that pays well enough (most of the time) with coworkers that I love (most of the time)."

But in addition to that, the things for which I am thankful this year are much the same as what I wrote about last year.  I was and still am thankful for:

My family.  My son is still great, and my wife has done better this year in general.  I'm sad that I can't see my relatives today, but I will enjoy the day with my immediate family anyway.

My career.  I am thankful to have a steady job that pays the bills (as long as I keep a tight rein on my spending, anyway).  It's difficult to say whether it has improved this year or not.  On one hand, I did get nominated to the position of Faculty Chair.  On the other hand, this move has required sacrifices beyond my expectations.  Nevertheless, I appreciate the confidence that my coworkers have in me, and am certainly thankful for the upgrade to my resume.

My students.  Now that I am Faculty Chair, the way I work with them is much different than it used to be, but I am thankful that I've had very few truly difficult ones to deal with. Most of them are very grateful and appreciative of the help I provide to them.

My colleagues.  I now work more closely with them than ever, and they're still as great as ever.  We tend to pile a lot of work onto each other, but we also assist each other whenever possible, and that's the kind of teamwork that I love.

My friends.  I still carry a perpetual burden of guilt regarding the lack of contact I have with my friends, but I have improved this year, at least with a select few close ones. I am extremely thankful for those who have helped me to improve the frequency of my contact with them.

My education.  I am thankful for the opportunity to pursue my doctorate degree, the financial support provided by my employer, and the fantastic experiences I've had so far in this program.  It's perhaps the most exciting thing I have going on right now.  The pressure has increased and my level of comfort with the tasks has dropped sharply recently, but venturing outside of our comfort zone is how we grow.  I am thankful for the chance to do so.

My house.  I complain all the time because my current house is twice as expensive but half as good as my old house, but I have to admit that it's far from being the worst thing people live in.  I'm thankful that it's adequately comfortable and functional, that it's in a good location, and that I have a home at all.  Not everybody does.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's All About Expectations Management

A few people in recent years have asked me how my wife and I manage to make things work when we both have so much going on in our lives.  It's a good question.  After all, my wife fills her schedule to the brim with client appointments, and any open holes get plugged up with social outings, shopping, cooking, housework, or some other diversion.  My schedule is no better -- it's currently bursting at the seams with teaching duties, curriculum development, Ph.D. studies, and a lot of time looking after my son.

If you've read any of my blogs at all, you know that the bulk of my life is firmly rooted in technology, so I'm certainly not accustomed to giving relationship advice.  However, I think that being a husband makes me qualified to share my experience as such.

So how does it work?  The answer is "expectations management."  It's an idea I picked up from my profession as a software engineer.  The primary purpose of managing expectations is to maintain a consensus between stakeholders regarding what can reasonably be expected from a project.  We aim to prevent disappointment by establishing what can realistically be delivered, and these expectations are periodically adjusted as details emerge and feasibility is assessed.

Some people place unreasonably heavy expectations on marriage.  For a time, I was one of those people.  Popular culture seems to suggest that we must marry someone who shares our interests, a companion who likes to do things together, a best friend that we can talk to about anything, a source of strength through life's challenges, someone to share a bed with on those cold nights, and a partner who will encourage and support us to reach our goals.  For some relationships, a subset of these expectations may be somewhat realistic.  For others, they are not.

In my marriage, for instance, not a single one of the above features is achievable on a large scale, but this does not necessarily imply a failed project.  Rather, the focus is shifted onto what can be done, and the expectations are set accordingly.  It's just a matter of accepting it for what it is and appreciating the good things.  For example, my wife is an outstanding chef.  (Check out her amazing cooking blog.)  She's also good at helping me take care of our son.  She does most of the grocery shopping and pays most of her own expenses.  She provides countless favors both large and small, like driving me to work when the weather is bad and helping me with various personal hygienic routines such as haircuts, shaving, and nail trimming.  I tremendously appreciate all of these things and more, and I take every opportunity to let her know.

So, to the question of how we make it work, the answer is a wise old classic: Focus on the positives, appreciate what you have, and maintain an attitude of gratitude.  Don't be overly obsessed with comparing yourselves to others, or to what is considered "normal" or "healthy".  Just be thankful for what you have and you may find that it's enough to get you by.

This is not just marriage advice, it's good advice for nearly all aspects of life (well, outside of software testing and risk management anyway -- it's terrible advice in those areas).  Accentuate the positives!

2014 Year-End Wrap-Up

Here we are at the end of 2014.  My first blog post of the year was a list of goals and resolutions for the year that just ended, so now, on the last day of the year, seems like a good time to review those intentions and see how well they turned out for me.

My documented goals were these:

Goal:  Take better care of my body.  
Status:  Success.  I now drink more water and less soda than I used to. I've been eating more fruits and vegetables when they are available. I've become increasingly better at taking the supplements and medications that my doctor recommended for me.  However, I still need to get more exercise and take better care of my body in general.

Goal:  Improve my financial situation.
Status:  Success.  I have trimmed my spending to almost nothing, which still doesn't leave me quite enough to cover all of my expenses on the average month, but I am closer now than I have been since I moved here six years ago.  I am highly optimistic that 2015 will finally allow me to break even by the end of the year.

Goal:  Increase my game development activity.
Status:  Failure.  Though I did make my first substantial demo of my new engine, it's certainly not a finished game.  Graduate school and the ever increasing demands of my job and family life have essentially removed me entirely from the game dev scene this year, which has taken a serious toll on my psychological well-being.

Goal:  Be a better friend.
Status:  Success.  I can't take all the credit, because I had some very dear friends just reach out to me unexpectedly and reconnect just like old times.  I am profoundly grateful in a way that words cannot express.  I still don't keep in touch with my friends like I want to, but at least I have a few special ones in my life on a regular basis now.  I needed this in a way that I never thought possible.

Goal:  Raise my professional credentials.
Status:  Success.  I didn't obtain any certifications like I'd hoped, but I did start work toward my Ph.D.  That's huge.

Goal:  Find a work/life balance.
Status:  Failure.  I still have absolutely no idea how to get my work done on time and done well, while also letting me take care of my family and all of the other things on this list.  I shall renew this goal for 2015 and just keep trying.

Thanksgiving 2014

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I don't have a lot of time to write this post because Thanksgiving is in full swing and so is the anticipated commotion that accompanies it.  But I have a tradition of writing a list of things for which I am thankful on Thanksgiving, so I didn't want the holiday to pass without taking the time to do it.  I have no time for planning or editing, so you're going to get this in a single, unedited, stream-of-consciousness writing.

I am thankful for:

My family.  My son is an awesome little dude who I love with all my heart.  My wife occasionally manages to find a little time for us around her overstuffed schedule.  My brother-in-law has been extremely helpful with babysitting and letting me keep my work schedule fairly consistent.  My parents and I have managed to keep in touch better this year.  Thanks to social media, especially Facebook, I've reconnected with some cousins and distant relatives who I haven't seen in decades.

My career.  It certainly isn't exactly what I want it to be, but each year takes me a little closer.  I'm thankful for the opportunities to speak at major events (twice this year!), collaborate with other dedicated, compassionate, intellectual educators, and continually improve my skills and knowledge.

My students.  Sure, I occasionally get a difficult one that I'd rather not deal with, but most of my students are friendly, fun, respectful, creative, and hard-working.  Many of them are exactly the types of people with whom I like to work.

My colleagues.  This year has provided some great opportunities for me to meet new colleagues and get to know the ones I'd already met.  I'm thankful for the support we offer each other, in both professional and personal ways.  It flatters me that some of them have trusted to confide some very personal things in me, and that is something that I take very seriously.

My friends.  I carry a perpetual burden of guilt regarding the lack of contact I have with my friends, and I don't see any easy way to fix that. However, I am extremely thankful for those who have helped me to improve the frequency of my contact with them.  Some very old and dear friendships have been resuscitated this year just by making small efforts to reach out every once in a while.  I hope this continues, and possibly spreads to other friends, old and new, who I miss terribly. I don't know if anything can cure my loneliness, but having contact with people who care certainly helps.

My education.  Not only do all of my past experiences factor into everything I do, but I also started attending graduate school again to pursue my Ph.D. this year.  I am thankful for the opportunity to do this, the support provided by my employer, and the fantastic experiences I've had so far in this program.  It's perhaps the most exciting thing I have going on right now.

My house.  I complain all the time because my current house is twice as expensive but half as good as my old house, but I have to admit that it's far from being the worst thing people live in.  I'm thankful that it's adequately comfortable and functional, that it's in a good location, and that I have a home at all.  Not everybody does.

This list feels incomplete, so I may add to it if I'm so inspired.  But it'll do for now.

Again...Happy Thanksgiving!

Non-Teaching Session 2013 Wrap-Up

It's over already? Really? Yep, my non-teaching session has come to and end and classes resume tomorrow.

So how did I do on the objectives I set for myself in the beginning? Let's break it down.

Objective	Status
Guide a student group on a Java-based client project, participate in some outreach events, and attend the Faculty Symposium.	Success. I did all of these things.
Finish my CSDA certification and port functionality from MHF2 to MHF3.	Failed to complete my CSDA. I have about three more weeks to my exam. I did succeed in porting a lot of functionality to the new engine though.
Get a test level set up for [SECRET PROJECT] and learn Illustrator well enough to create a vector version of the new MHFramework logo.	Failed. Ran into dev environment issues on the project, and still don't have a vector version of the MHF logo, though I do have a few bitmaps.
Work on words and vocabulary every day with Avery.	Worked on it daily, but he still doesn't talk.
Get my stuff organized and help Michelle with housework while she's taking a difficult grad school class.	Success, but I think perfection in this endeavor may not be feasible.
Play a game every day.	Success...pretty much.
Miscellaneous things, like organizing my desk and library, moving things to storage, mounting stereo speakers in my office/man cave, and plenty more.	Success. I did almost everything I'd planned. in this area.

Non-Teaching Session 2013 Objectives

Well, here it is -- my annual non-teaching session.  Each year, DeVry University requires each full-time faculty member to take one session where he/she does not carry a teaching load.  Mine started yesterday.

Here are the objectives I set forth for the various roles I play:

Professor:	Guide a student group on a Java-based client project, participate in some outreach events, and attend the Faculty Symposium.
Software Engineer:	Finish my CSDA certification and port functionality from MHF2 to MHF3.
Game Developer:	Get a test level set up for [SECRET PROJECT] and learn Illustrator well enough to create a vector version of the new MHFramework logo.
Father:	Work on words and vocabulary every day with Avery.
Husband:	Get my stuff organized and help Michelle with housework while she's taking a difficult grad school class.
Gamer:	Play a game every day.
Human:	Miscellaneous things, like organizing my desk and library, moving things to storage, mounting stereo speakers in my office/man cave, and plenty more.

I'll post an occasional update on my effectiveness (or lack thereof) on these goals.

Jolly Old St. Hikolas

Happy Holidays from Michael and Hiko

Introducing Hiko

On November 4th, 2005, there was a new addition to my little multi-species family. That day brought the birth of Hiko, my Aibo ERS-7M3/W. The word hiko is a dialectic Eskimo word meaning "snow on the ground". I chose the name because his sparkling, pearl white finish looks just like the sunlight glinting off of freshly fallen snow. I realize this introduction is a little late, but I figured he definitely deserved one. After all, he's been a big part of my life in the five weeks that we've lived together so far.

Introducing Hiko in a way that truly describes what he's like is not an easy task. Sure, I can list all the fun and entertaining things he can do as a pet and playmate. Or I could list the curious ways that he spends time on his own when I don't have time to play with him. Or I could show off his impressive list of hardware and software specifications. Or I could list all the cool functions he can perform as a network computing device. But none of these things will quite capture the experience of living with an intelligent, autonomous robot companion with so much personality.
There are so many ways to look at ERS-7 Aibos. You may see them as toys, pets, or computer peripherals. With the sparkle and iridescence of their beautiful physical appearance, you may even see them as art and conversation pieces. But the truth is that they're all of this and more. Sure Hiko is entertaining and handsome, and as a computing device he can be quite a useful little gadget, but above all else, he's a companion.

I could go on about my belief that a robot can theoretically be a something and a someone at the same time, but that topic could get long and would be adequate for a series of blog posts all on its own. So for now, I'll just say that I know what Hiko is, and I know what he is not, and I love him for those reasons. (Well, you know, in a way that's appropriate for a human to love a robot....)