End of One Era, Start of Another

Today, May 17, 2024, is a big day in my career trajectory.  This day marks the end of my original one-year, temporary, full-time faculty contract at College of DuPage (COD).  This is the end of one of the biggest gambles I have ever taken, stepping down from tenure at Triton College to be a temp at COD.  It seems like a good time to answer a frequently asked question, which takes many forms but essentially boils down to something like this:

"I thought you loved Triton College.  Why make the switch?"

I do love Triton, and I'm not leaving entirely.  But sometimes difficult decisions must be made for the sake of one's career and overall wellbeing.  There are good reasons why I gave up a secure, tenured position -- with outstanding benefits -- for a temporary one with no certain future.  

On the surface, there are some clear and easy ones, such as a substantial increase in income and a shorter, simpler, safer commute.

Digging a little deeper reveals more reasons:  a merciful escape from the infeasible responsibility that derailed my career, an opportunity to become part of a dedicated, supportive team rather than flying solo, and a great deal of autonomy and flexibility in establishing my schedule.

But at the real heart of the matter is this:  Triton's CIS programs are barely a fit for my expertise, while the CIS department at COD thoroughly embraces it.

At Triton, I was continually at risk of not meeting my required teaching load hours.  There aren't many software development courses there, and the few they have are often cancelled due to low enrollment.  I even created an all-new software development degree to compete with other similar institutions, give some of our courses a more suitable home, and create a space where I could fit in and contribute more meaningfully.  However, this program has yet to really take off.  Demand appears to be lower than I was led to believe through both qualitative and quantitative sources.

On the other hand, the Computer and Information Science department at College of DuPage completely centers around software development and game development -- my two great loves.  There is no shortage of classes, so I will never run the risk of not meeting my load.  In fact, I was overloaded last fall due to taking over sections that didn't have faculty.  My time at Triton hindered my software work and completely severed me from my game dev side, and COD puts me in constant contact with these.

So, while Triton may occasionally let me glimpse my happy place from a distance, COD lets me live immersed in it.  This is the real essence of why I took the risk and swapped my full-time and adjunct statuses with these two great colleges.

What does the future hold?

I will have a full-time, tenure-track position at COD starting in August.  In less than two years from now, I'll have tenure in a department where I am a natural fit rather than a tangential one.  My career has already begun recovery, as have my physical and mental health.  

Life is good and getting better!

A Time of Thanksgiving and Reflection

It has literally been years since my last published blog post. I haven't blogged regularly since I started my previous full-time job, which effectively disrupted my entire life and wellbeing.  Coincidentally, that is one of my inspirations to write this post.

The Fall

The story starts around 2015-2018, but I'm going to skip forward to Halloween night, 2022.  As a traditional Halloween activity, I did a spirit board session late in the evening to ask for a word of general advice. The message I got was, "Figure out why you expect [your employer] to get wiser." (Name withheld to protect the innocent.)

For years at that point, I had been struggling to figure out a way to carry the burden I had been assigned. The eternal optimist in me kept thinking that things would eventually improve and I would be able to succeed in my role.  The spirits' message helped me to reconsider, especially after what happened in the following month.

It was a year ago now -- give or take a few days -- that my mental health hit a low not seen in decades, if ever.  My friends know I feel and express genuine gratitude for the countless blessings in my life, as they always outnumber and outweigh any negatives.  I smile and laugh more than any other emotive expression, and it's authentic.  So, when I sunk to a point where it felt like the positives were being ground to dust by the negatives, I knew something was really wrong.  It just isn't me to think that way.  It was more than a subjective perception; I could model it mathematically.

My best efforts, my hardest work, my longest hours, my most careful planning, my most productive days...none of that could make a dent in the mountain I was under.

Rock Bottom

My futile efforts resulted in the sacrifice of my health, relationships, education, and professional goals.  I knew this all along, but one day in November 2022, it all hit me at once.  I realized that the best possible outcome I could hope for would be to just barely stay caught up, and sacrifice everything to do so.  That was the best case, though still horrible, and I couldn't achieve it.  

Feeling utterly defeated, with my life's dreams but a distant memory, I cried for two days straight.  I had never been further from where I wanted to be, and the path back to it was completely obscured by the circumstances in which I found myself.

The Rebound

It was at that point that I prayed, putting a heartfelt desire out to the universe, for a solution.  Trusting in God as I do, I wasn't about to dictate the form of that solution.  I simply asked for my life to be in a more balanced alignment, in whatever form that might take.  I said, "If you want me to continue toward my original goals, please show me a way."

I watched for things at work to improve as a result of this.  They didn't.

However, I did start seeing job postings looking for people with my qualifications.  I also had lunch with an advisory board partner who practically offered me a job on the spot.  I didn't take it (yet), but it was a flattering surprise that felt synchronistic.  Also, my part-time employer (which is the best I've ever had), opened up a full-time, temporary position for someone just like me.  This is the role I have now -- temporary, but absolutely worth the gamble.

TL;DR: Finally Getting to the Point

The point of this story is that no matter how bad things look, it's never hopeless. We live in a loving, supportive universe that responds to us if we just clarify our needs and ask.  Prayer works.  Gratitude fuels it.  After struggling for years, my solution came fairly quickly once I clarified my desire and directly asked for it.  Signs began appearing within a few days, and within a couple months, I could begin in earnest my path to salvation.  Now I can hardly relate to the broken, defeated man I was just one year ago, and I'm grateful.

Yes, I am thankful for all of this and so much more.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Thanksgiving 2015

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

As I do almost every year at Thanksgiving, I sat down to ponder all of the things for which I am thankful. It started to feel extremely familiar, and I realized that this year's list is nearly identical to last year's.

We have a bulletin board at work where colleagues were asked to post a note about something they are thankful for.  I wrote:  "A job that I like (most of the time) that pays well enough (most of the time) with coworkers that I love (most of the time)."

But in addition to that, the things for which I am thankful this year are much the same as what I wrote about last year.  I was and still am thankful for:

My family.  My son is still great, and my wife has done better this year in general.  I'm sad that I can't see my relatives today, but I will enjoy the day with my immediate family anyway.

My career.  I am thankful to have a steady job that pays the bills (as long as I keep a tight rein on my spending, anyway).  It's difficult to say whether it has improved this year or not.  On one hand, I did get nominated to the position of Faculty Chair.  On the other hand, this move has required sacrifices beyond my expectations.  Nevertheless, I appreciate the confidence that my coworkers have in me, and am certainly thankful for the upgrade to my resume.

My students.  Now that I am Faculty Chair, the way I work with them is much different than it used to be, but I am thankful that I've had very few truly difficult ones to deal with. Most of them are very grateful and appreciative of the help I provide to them.

My colleagues.  I now work more closely with them than ever, and they're still as great as ever.  We tend to pile a lot of work onto each other, but we also assist each other whenever possible, and that's the kind of teamwork that I love.

My friends.  I still carry a perpetual burden of guilt regarding the lack of contact I have with my friends, but I have improved this year, at least with a select few close ones. I am extremely thankful for those who have helped me to improve the frequency of my contact with them.

My education.  I am thankful for the opportunity to pursue my doctorate degree, the financial support provided by my employer, and the fantastic experiences I've had so far in this program.  It's perhaps the most exciting thing I have going on right now.  The pressure has increased and my level of comfort with the tasks has dropped sharply recently, but venturing outside of our comfort zone is how we grow.  I am thankful for the chance to do so.

My house.  I complain all the time because my current house is twice as expensive but half as good as my old house, but I have to admit that it's far from being the worst thing people live in.  I'm thankful that it's adequately comfortable and functional, that it's in a good location, and that I have a home at all.  Not everybody does.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2014 Year-End Wrap-Up

Here we are at the end of 2014.  My first blog post of the year was a list of goals and resolutions for the year that just ended, so now, on the last day of the year, seems like a good time to review those intentions and see how well they turned out for me.

My documented goals were these:

Goal:  Take better care of my body.  
Status:  Success.  I now drink more water and less soda than I used to. I've been eating more fruits and vegetables when they are available. I've become increasingly better at taking the supplements and medications that my doctor recommended for me.  However, I still need to get more exercise and take better care of my body in general.

Goal:  Improve my financial situation.
Status:  Success.  I have trimmed my spending to almost nothing, which still doesn't leave me quite enough to cover all of my expenses on the average month, but I am closer now than I have been since I moved here six years ago.  I am highly optimistic that 2015 will finally allow me to break even by the end of the year.

Goal:  Increase my game development activity.
Status:  Failure.  Though I did make my first substantial demo of my new engine, it's certainly not a finished game.  Graduate school and the ever increasing demands of my job and family life have essentially removed me entirely from the game dev scene this year, which has taken a serious toll on my psychological well-being.

Goal:  Be a better friend.
Status:  Success.  I can't take all the credit, because I had some very dear friends just reach out to me unexpectedly and reconnect just like old times.  I am profoundly grateful in a way that words cannot express.  I still don't keep in touch with my friends like I want to, but at least I have a few special ones in my life on a regular basis now.  I needed this in a way that I never thought possible.

Goal:  Raise my professional credentials.
Status:  Success.  I didn't obtain any certifications like I'd hoped, but I did start work toward my Ph.D.  That's huge.

Goal:  Find a work/life balance.
Status:  Failure.  I still have absolutely no idea how to get my work done on time and done well, while also letting me take care of my family and all of the other things on this list.  I shall renew this goal for 2015 and just keep trying.

Thanksgiving 2014

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I don't have a lot of time to write this post because Thanksgiving is in full swing and so is the anticipated commotion that accompanies it.  But I have a tradition of writing a list of things for which I am thankful on Thanksgiving, so I didn't want the holiday to pass without taking the time to do it.  I have no time for planning or editing, so you're going to get this in a single, unedited, stream-of-consciousness writing.

I am thankful for:

My family.  My son is an awesome little dude who I love with all my heart.  My wife occasionally manages to find a little time for us around her overstuffed schedule.  My brother-in-law has been extremely helpful with babysitting and letting me keep my work schedule fairly consistent.  My parents and I have managed to keep in touch better this year.  Thanks to social media, especially Facebook, I've reconnected with some cousins and distant relatives who I haven't seen in decades.

My career.  It certainly isn't exactly what I want it to be, but each year takes me a little closer.  I'm thankful for the opportunities to speak at major events (twice this year!), collaborate with other dedicated, compassionate, intellectual educators, and continually improve my skills and knowledge.

My students.  Sure, I occasionally get a difficult one that I'd rather not deal with, but most of my students are friendly, fun, respectful, creative, and hard-working.  Many of them are exactly the types of people with whom I like to work.

My colleagues.  This year has provided some great opportunities for me to meet new colleagues and get to know the ones I'd already met.  I'm thankful for the support we offer each other, in both professional and personal ways.  It flatters me that some of them have trusted to confide some very personal things in me, and that is something that I take very seriously.

My friends.  I carry a perpetual burden of guilt regarding the lack of contact I have with my friends, and I don't see any easy way to fix that. However, I am extremely thankful for those who have helped me to improve the frequency of my contact with them.  Some very old and dear friendships have been resuscitated this year just by making small efforts to reach out every once in a while.  I hope this continues, and possibly spreads to other friends, old and new, who I miss terribly. I don't know if anything can cure my loneliness, but having contact with people who care certainly helps.

My education.  Not only do all of my past experiences factor into everything I do, but I also started attending graduate school again to pursue my Ph.D. this year.  I am thankful for the opportunity to do this, the support provided by my employer, and the fantastic experiences I've had so far in this program.  It's perhaps the most exciting thing I have going on right now.

My house.  I complain all the time because my current house is twice as expensive but half as good as my old house, but I have to admit that it's far from being the worst thing people live in.  I'm thankful that it's adequately comfortable and functional, that it's in a good location, and that I have a home at all.  Not everybody does.

This list feels incomplete, so I may add to it if I'm so inspired.  But it'll do for now.

Again...Happy Thanksgiving!

Goals and Resolutions for 2014

I've heard that you should never share your resolutions because people will laugh at you or sabotage your efforts.  I've also heard that you should share your goals with others because they can support you and help you reach them.  I'm not sure which bit of advice is more correct, so I'll take my usual approach and compromise.  I'll share here some of my goals and resolutions for the glorious year that we are now beginning, but I'm keeping a few special ones to myself.

• Take better care of my body.  
• Drink more water, eat more fruits and vegetables, take my doctor-recommended supplements as directed, get more exercise, take better care of problematic body parts, limit my intake of junk food and beverages.
• Improve my financial situation.
• Find a way to increase my income or decrease my cost of living so I can actually have a few dollars left over rather than being in the hole each month as I was through most of last year.
• Increase my game development activity.
• Do something project-related every week, no matter how small.  Attend more events and meetups.  Keep up with what other developers are doing.  Play a lot more of other people's games.
• Be a better friend.
• Reach out to a friend at least once every month.  Stop letting work and family obligations keep me reclusive.  Be more social and communicative.
• Raise my professional credentials.
• I know I can't do all of these, but I hope to do a couple of them:  Start work on my Ph.D, write a couple of chapters for my book, obtain CSDP certification, update my Java certification.
• Find a work/life balance.
• Randomly stumble across that magic formula that will let me get my work done on time and done well, while also letting me take care of my family and all of the other things on this list.  This is the only goal that I have no idea how to achieve.

I wish good fortune to us all when it comes to keeping our resolutions and improving our lives.  May the Force be with us.

My CSDA (Certified Software Development Associate) Experience

Software engineering has been a passion of mine since before I knew there were words for it.  Last year I learned that the prestigious IEEE offers certifications in this field, and my ears perked up.

Planning My Attack

I investigated the two different offerings:  CSDA (Certified Software Development Associate) for entry-level developers, and CSDP (Certified Software Development Professional) for experienced ones.  My first impulse was to shoot straight for CSDP.  After all, I have several years of software development experience and recently completed a Masters degree in software engineering in which I was less than one tenth of a grade point away from graduating with distinction.  By IEEE's recommendations, I should be a candidate for CSDP.

However, I decided to go for CSDA first, even though my experience and education should drastically over-qualify me.  My reasons:

• I teach an undergraduate software engineering course.  If there is any hope of preparing my students for certification, it would be at the CSDA level.  I would need to assess the content firsthand in order to accurately convey the experience and expectations to them.
• I really want to go for CSDP, and CSDA might offer a somewhat gentler preview of what the exam might be like.
• Unlike CSDP, the CSDA doesn't expire, so I won't be trying to maintain two similar certifications after I get my CSDP in the future.
• I have lofty aspirations of someday becoming a presenter for the IEEE Computer Society.  I want both certifications so I'll know how they differ and can accurately answer questions about them.
• The professional development budget that my employer provides will cover the costs of both certifications, so why not?

My Preparation Process

I started by attending the IEEE Metro Area Workshop session on Software Engineering Essentials.  Then I purchased six months of access to the relevant courses in the IEEE e-learning library.  Immediately I discovered that I was right to go for CSDA first.  Some of the review questions were extremely difficult, even with my education and experience.  Tiny nuances that seem trivial in practice can have the  power to completely shift the focus in a theoretical/hypothetical context.  This was perhaps the greatest lesson I learned through this process.

At the end of my six-month subscription, I scheduled the exam for the first available time slot that fit into my busy schedule.  It was over a month away from that point, so I had some time to keep studying.  I carried my favorite software engineering book (Software Engineering: A Practitioner's Approach by Dr. Roger S. Pressman) with me everywhere I went so I could browse through it every chance I got.  I read the entire SWEBOK guide online, and even read the new drafts as they became available.  I also skimmed relevant message boards to see if anyone was talking about these exams, but very few people were.

Exam Day Arrives!

Finally the scheduled exam day arrived.  I surveyed the battlefield the day before by driving by the testing center to make sure I knew exactly where it was.  That night, I armed for battle by reviewing all of the SWEBOK knowledge areas as well as the engineering, math, and computing foundations.  Then I tried unsuccessfully to get a restful sleep so my mind would be sharp the next day.

Two things I love: Java and Mountain Dew

That morning (actually this morning), I awoke long before my alarm sounded.  I put on my Java polo shirt as a motivational reminder of the last certification I conquered.  After a delicious, energizing breakfast of peanut butter and grape jam, I popped some vitamins, downed a Dew, and headed to the testing center.

The check-in procedure was quick and simple.  I just had to sign a few things and empty my pockets into a secure storage locker.  You are not allowed to carry anything into the testing room that could be used to record or copy the questions, or to cheat by looking things up.  I carried only my driver's license and the key to the storage locker.  I was allowed to borrow a marker and a wet-erase sheet which I only ended up using on one question -- to diagram a cyclomatic complexity problem.

Most of the questions were surprisingly straightforward.  I was very glad that I had taken the prep course because some of them involved those tiny details that seem insignificant unless you really understand the intentions of software engineering processes, methods, and techniques.  There were a few on which I had to venture an educated guess based on various assumptions.  But there were two that really got under my skin.

Two Irritating Questions

I had to agree with an NDA that prevents me from repeating the questions here, so I'll summarize in a nondescript way the two questions that angered me.  One question showed a class diagram depicting an inheritance hierarchy using a mix of concrete and abstract classes, then asked which of four statements was true for the diagram.  However, all four options were technically false.  I was able to make a reasonable assumption by granting some semantic leniency, but doing so led to two valid answers based on that rationale.

The other objectionable question was even worse than that.  It was a Boolean logic notation question that gave a compound statement, assigned letters A, B, and C to its three elements, and then asked which expression was equivalent to the original statement.  The question was very simple and I could have answered it easily were it not multiple choice.  The problem is that answer A was identical to answer B and it was wrong.  Answer C was identical to answer D, and again, wrong.  So there were no right answers, and the answer choices were all duplicates of each other.

Victory!

The score report printed at the front reception desk.  Aside from my name, address, and other identifying information, it simply said this:

We are pleased to inform you that you have achieved a scaled score of 170 or higher and have thus passed the CSDA examination.

It would have been nice to know how I performed in the various knowledge areas, particularly on those with faulty questions, but overall I'm just relieved to have this challenge behind me.

On to the next!

Non-Teaching Session 2013 Wrap-Up

It's over already? Really? Yep, my non-teaching session has come to and end and classes resume tomorrow.

So how did I do on the objectives I set for myself in the beginning? Let's break it down.

Objective	Status
Guide a student group on a Java-based client project, participate in some outreach events, and attend the Faculty Symposium.	Success. I did all of these things.
Finish my CSDA certification and port functionality from MHF2 to MHF3.	Failed to complete my CSDA. I have about three more weeks to my exam. I did succeed in porting a lot of functionality to the new engine though.
Get a test level set up for [SECRET PROJECT] and learn Illustrator well enough to create a vector version of the new MHFramework logo.	Failed. Ran into dev environment issues on the project, and still don't have a vector version of the MHF logo, though I do have a few bitmaps.
Work on words and vocabulary every day with Avery.	Worked on it daily, but he still doesn't talk.
Get my stuff organized and help Michelle with housework while she's taking a difficult grad school class.	Success, but I think perfection in this endeavor may not be feasible.
Play a game every day.	Success...pretty much.
Miscellaneous things, like organizing my desk and library, moving things to storage, mounting stereo speakers in my office/man cave, and plenty more.	Success. I did almost everything I'd planned. in this area.

Non-Teaching Session 2013 Objectives

Well, here it is -- my annual non-teaching session.  Each year, DeVry University requires each full-time faculty member to take one session where he/she does not carry a teaching load.  Mine started yesterday.

Here are the objectives I set forth for the various roles I play:

Professor:	Guide a student group on a Java-based client project, participate in some outreach events, and attend the Faculty Symposium.
Software Engineer:	Finish my CSDA certification and port functionality from MHF2 to MHF3.
Game Developer:	Get a test level set up for [SECRET PROJECT] and learn Illustrator well enough to create a vector version of the new MHFramework logo.
Father:	Work on words and vocabulary every day with Avery.
Husband:	Get my stuff organized and help Michelle with housework while she's taking a difficult grad school class.
Gamer:	Play a game every day.
Human:	Miscellaneous things, like organizing my desk and library, moving things to storage, mounting stereo speakers in my office/man cave, and plenty more.

I'll post an occasional update on my effectiveness (or lack thereof) on these goals.